5 Steps to Getting Your Ex Back
Written by Erik J. Michaels on August 26th, 2008It should come as no surprise to you that breakups aren’t much fun. In fact, it’s pretty common knowledge that they’re a pain. A lot less known is that you can put an end to all the breakup pain if you follow the steps I have laid out for you to get your ex back.
As complicated as the process for getting your ex back really is, it can be simplified and divided up into five steps that make it a lot easier to handle. Consider these to be chunks of a much bigger object called “getting your life back on track.” I’ll try to keep it as simple as I can while still giving you all you need to know about each step.
Step 1: Your first impulse directly after the breakup is usually to plague your ex with what I call the “take me back -attack.” This is a BAD IDEA. Your ex will NOT want to talk to you right now, it’s still too painful. Give the poor person some space, and frankly you could use it too.
Step 2: Take advantage of the downtime to work on the things you did or didn’t do that contributed to the breakup. Every couple has flaws equally divided, but the person who gets broken up with usually has more. These things have to be addressed and dealt with, or else you can’t expect anything better from new relationships than the fate of the old one. Make the necessary changes. Yeah, this is the main chunk that’s bigger than the others, but it’s important.
Step 3: By the time you’ve made a lot of progress on your mistakes, it’ll probably be an okay time to re-establish contact with your ex. Keep in mind that this is still a fragile time, so keep it very light and simple. Just a phone call or an email saying “hey, how have you been?” is sufficient. It opens up an avenue of contact, and expresses that you DO care about how they’ve been handling the breakup.
Step 4: If the first contacts work out, you’ll probably slowly start spending more time with each other. During these occasions, don’t be aggressive…just do things with your ex that you both used to really enjoy. This is great for rekindling old memories and feelings. Second, use this time to let the work you’ve been doing on yourself speak for itself.
Step 5: It’s not sure-fire that your ex will want to get back together, but the chances are pretty good…and if you two DO give it another try, it’s critical that you not screw up now. So you got your ex back…now KEEP him/her! Don’t make the same mistakes again, and try to avoid any new ones too! This could be your last chance!
You’ll have a lot of sacrifice and compromise in any relationship, it’s just what’s necessary for two people to share something so close. It’s important to keep from messing up and doing the same mistakes you already made that cost you your first relationship, because next time there may not be any chance to make things right.
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Tags: dating
