The Power of Emotional Men
Written by Johnny Feelgood on August 19th, 2008Young men are told.. “Don’t show your emotions; because this is weak. Only women show their emotions”. So men become “hard” and insensitive, or young men attempt to act “tough” when they’re out in a social environment.
But this is purely a cover for the real problem. It’s the emotions themselves that are weak, not the expression of them. Men are afraid to show emotion because then they’re exposed as weak and unsure of themselves. But instead of pushing themselves out of their comfort zone, going through the maturing and growth process to develop seasoning as men, they choose instead to conceal their emotions; never dealing with them, never facing their own inadequacies.
The strongest men, the most sure of themselves, those most relaxed in their social environments, are actually the most emotionally expressive. In contrast, not being emotionally expressive is actually a sign of fear and not feeling in control of the existing social environment. Powerful communication, leading and influencing; has to be done with emotional force. There is no other way to do it.
Research studies have shown that nonverbal makes up almost ALL of communication between humans. 93% to be exact. So anyone who stifles their emotional expressiveness, which is expressed through nonverbal, loses their ability to communicate.
Now men are admired for their strong silence, their stoicism. But these are developed from a lifestyle of taking responsibility for everything in a person’s life, leaving nothing to chance, or to the whim of someone else, not becoming upset because something or someone is not giving them their way. Whether it’s finances, career, family or day to day emotional state, all of these are accounted for; and a man develops a certain gravity to his presence. But he’s not always like this, as having taken responsibility for his environment, and those in it, he knows that the healthiest place for them to be emotionally, is one of positivity and amusement. So he projects this outward for all to experience.
Years of tough living give a man perspective on life. 17 years of mixed martial arts, and a short career as a military officer has made me realize that the best thing for the people around me, that look to me for leadership because they trust me, is to lead them into a more positive emotional state, so they feel unstifled and free to express their creativity, giving themselves more of a chance to achieve what they want in life. Most inexperienced men do not understand this, and act from one extreme or the other, acting “tough” or acting just the oppositive; needy and approval-seeking.
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