All My Love Dating

The subject of what makes a great lover was being tossed around at breakfast this morning as carefree as sharing a jelly donut among friends. This question is often presented in and out of the therapy office. Most have an opionion, though this article is written from a consensus of woman’s points of view.So then, ‘What makes your lover great’?

It is also important to mention in this blog safe-sex practices for those in the dating and mating scene. 0ften people take sexual health risks without understanding the consequences of unsafe sex. If your intended lover is unknown for the most part, and you haven’t discussed previous dating experience or healthy exams, please for your own safety, discuss these issues with your prospective lover or partner.

While on the massage table last week, my massage therapist relayed a very funny take on her experiences with good and bad lovers. She stated that there have been times that she wanted to just hand the bad lover a rubber doll and say, hey, knock yourself out and have fun, let me know if you miss me! She describes this man as the ’selfish lover’ the guy that wouldn’t even miss ya if you left the room!

I respect one of my friends ideas very much and she is a savvy woman of the world. She seems to believe that all men have the potential of being the ‘Great Lover’, its simply a matter of taking the time to care and not just being in it for your own personal pleasure.

Bad Lovers/Her Opinion:

The Less than Good Lover:

This type of man lets you know on the first date that he is the world’s gift to women. He usually has a ‘Bad Boy’ persona and prides himself on it too! Beware of those sweet words and swift moves. If he goes for the gold before he knows what color your eyes are, put on your running shoes girl!

Note: Sexual Health Advisory

HEALTHY Sex Practices NOTE:

STDs:

Here’s another reality check: sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) are incredibly common in the U.S. — even if your social circle is affluent and educated. The most common STDs are: Chlamydia, genital herpes, genital warts caused by human papillomavirus (HPV), and HIV/AIDS. To reduce risk, use a condom every time you have sex. Ask your partner if he or she has ever had an STD — even if the question feels awkward. Limit your number of sexual partners. Don’t have sex with someone who has sores on his or her genitals. Don’t receive oral sex from somebody with a cold sore. Ask your partner to be tested. Try alternate forms of sexual intimacy.

If your new lover insists on not using pre-cautionary safe-sex measures, it is your responsibility to be the responsible one. The most common complaint of the lover that doesn’t wish to use protection, is that he cannot use a condom because he “can’t feel anything.” This problem is is, not yours. You may risk contracting STD’s or other sexually contracted diseases if you fall for this guy’s power play.

A lover in order to rate the ‘Good Lover’ status: This man takes responsibility and provides his own safe-sex protection. The GL is grown up, i.e mature and responsible, and usually knows what he wants, no game-playing for this guy. He is not too quick to jump the starting gate on the first date and knows the basic rules of following the woman’s lead. Although he may know what he wants, there is no sense of entitlement on this good guys part. The GL Lover is able to follow his woman’s lead both in and out of the sheets.

A GL provides his own safe-sex protection. No immature adolescent games for this guy. He usually knows what he wants and how to get it, with authentic intent. A GL understands that if you give a woman enough time to warm up to you, she will usually let him know if she’s interested. Jumping the starting line to quickly can only lead to the kiss of death for new relationships.

Great Lover Attributes:

Wanted: GL unique creature: This man really does exist. The makings of a Great Lover depends on how healthy he is both mentally and physically himself. This man wants a partner who challenges and supports him towards being a more awake, present and open lover. This man is not into playing games and is ready for the work and play it takes to co-create an extaordinary relationship together. In order to be considerd a GL, the man must be looking for a woman who wants more than a partner “for masturbation by other”, i.e. more than a one night stand. Mechanical sex is not what its cracked up to be. Its like sleepwalking through life, and eating the ice cream cone without the ice cream. The flow and co-creation of great sex belongs only to the one who finds a great lover.

If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!

Tags: dating